Pregnant? Good! Let Me Be the First to Insult You!

“The mob is fickle brother.”


Only a few more weeks left in my first pregnancy and I

have had this ever-growing need to write about all of the shi$$y things people have said to me throughout my term. I’m writing this because people are clearly not cognizant about what comes out of their mouths. (Or maybe they are??? Who knows?)  Anywho, I figured you guys would get a kick outta reading what people have said to me.  Grab the Visine, as there will be some hard eye-rolling going on as you read.

My initial statement or the “theme” of the comments are in BOLD and the replies from people are in ITALIC.  Try to hold yourself back from stating it is more about MY hormones or ME being sensitive because if you know me, even a little, you know I’m not an overly sensitive person….even being pregnant.

These are all actual comments verbatim and in chronological order that I, at first, blew off but then realized they were all filed away in my “File Cabinet for Pettiness” and I needed to share them with the world because…the cabinet is FULL!   If you recognize a statement you said here, Petty LaBelle, no need to get in your feelings about it…just do better next time with the next pregnant lady you encounter. *sideeye*

Let’s quit wasting time and get into it shall we?

On this past Mother’s Day when no one knew I was trying to get pregnant, I received a FB text that said…

-“Happy Anything Day”.

On The Phrase, “Hey! Guess what? I’m Pregnant!”…

-“Why did you go and do that?”

-“Your pregnant? Are you even happy about that?”

-“Are you going to keep it?”

-“Why would you even want to do this now?”

-“I heard you were pregnant, but I didn’t want to say anything rude so I didn’t say anything to you at all.”

-“Aren’t you nervous about being so old”?

-“………………………..” (Long, very long pause…and I mean so long I had to say, “Hello are you still there?”)

On The Sex of The Baby…

-“A girl? Oh…I was hoping you were having a boy. You need more boys in your family.”

-“Is Scott disappointed it’s not a boy?”

-“You’re sporty. What are you gonna do with a girl?”

On Drinking Alcohol…

-“You know you can’t drink anymore.” I actually HAVE to comment on this one. Out of all of the ridiculously asinine comments, this one seems to be the rudest to me. I must seem like an ignorant, out of work, raving alcoholic to a few people because it actually surprised me to hear this…every time I heard it…as many times as I re-heard it.

-“That better not be an alcoholic drink in your hand in that picture.” Hint: This never comes off as caring or funny. It comes off as extremely judgy, condescending and completely naive to who I am as a person. I have been an athlete and a health nut all of my life, who happens to educate people on the craft beer wave. On the other hand, if I, as a grown woman, who pays her own bills, chooses to chase a cocktail of pills down with Tanqueray daily, throughout my pregnancy, your judgy quip would not give me pause.

-“Is St. Patrick’s Day as fun being pregnant?” This is literally a question you ask a 21-year old pregnant girl. Not a woman who has celebrated St Patrick’s Day all over the world 50 times.

When I Posted a Third Trimester picture on FB…

-“I’m sorry but you can’t be in your 3rd trimester. You are not big enough.”

-“Are you sure you are in your third trimester?” As if I live in a cave, without 1st world care.

Naming MY baby…

-“Are you going to name your daughter a unique ethnic name?” When the person asked, they were visibly very afraid of the answer.

-“Be sure not to name her anything weird.” Right! As soon as I get my ‘Naming Rights Check’ from you, I will jump right on that.

On My Age…

-“I can’t believe you waited until middle-age to get pregnant. Middle Aged? Now I feel like a T-Rex.

Ah…Now I feel better I dumped out the Petty Cabinet!  Now I can go on with my night. *Smile*